The Year Of The Fox Posted 4 June 2011 Share Posted 4 June 2011 Mee9. Cheers for that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOCCERROO FOX Posted 4 June 2011 Author Share Posted 4 June 2011 I was in year 1 and my mum had bought me some brand new trousers that i swear were 5 sizes too big and i wasnt wearing a belt and they fell down in the middle of the playground With antics like that you could be mayor one day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stadt Posted 20 July 2011 Share Posted 20 July 2011 I thought I'd bring this back up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charl91 Posted 20 July 2011 Share Posted 20 July 2011 Nothing greatly embarrasing to be honest. One fairly embarrassing one a few years back was at a party/drunken gathering at a friends house (about 9 or 10 of us), when his parents were out for the weekend. Think I was only 17, and had only been drunk a couple of times before, so was a bit of a lightweight. Someone ended up buying me a bottle of red aftershock, and trying to prove how hard-core I was at drinking (which was obviously a lie, haha), I drunk 2/3 of the bottle, aswell as a couple of other bottles of red stuff. Anyway, we ended up getting out the Xbox, by this time the room was spinning for me. I remember we were drunkenly playing Halo 3, and some girl (she must have been wasted) starts touching me up. I told her to go away because I was beating the other guys at Halo (massive nerd) and didnt want to lose. I then promptly threw up bright pink sick all over her, myself, the guys xbox equipment and the beige carpet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonno24 Posted 20 July 2011 Share Posted 20 July 2011 Once during a rather spur of the moment sex sessions at my fiancees house she was on top and what can only be described as the worst cramp ever started in my left calf. Or atleast i thaught it was cramp it turned out that one of the springs had snapped on the bed and decided to imbed itself in my leg my missus panicked and seeing all the blood on the bed rang an ambulance. Baring in mind i was butt naked and still had a rock-on i quickly yanked my leg up and proceeded to pull the bed sheet and spring off the bed. So theres me trying to get a pair of shorts on while having half the bed sticking out of my calf. To be fair to the paramedics they didnt ask any questions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxesAreBlue Posted 20 July 2011 Share Posted 20 July 2011 I love this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mee Posted 20 July 2011 Share Posted 20 July 2011 When I was 11, I had my first ever sleep over at my mates, and apparently all night I was sleep walking and turning the tv off when they were watching it etc. Anyway, I went downstairs for some reason, and I pissed in his fridge. Not sure why, he was a nice lad. After that, about 4 in the morning, I needed a shite, so I went into the toilet, and because I wasn't even awake, I pissed over his floor. I then, with the toilet seat down, shat on it, and it was the fluffy type, the type that takes 1000 wipes and burns you arse. So then, realising what I has done, I got my bare hand and scooped this sloppy shite up, and scraped it half in the toilet and half in the sink. I didn't wash the sink down though, I wanted to get back to bed. So I guess his mum had to in the morning. But being young, she never said anything, neither did he. Although my mates still never let me live it down. The guy who's house it was, I havnt spoke to him since!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charl91 Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 When I was nine, I was at my friends house. I went to the bathroom and washed my hands and forgot I left the sink running and the sink running. We realised an hour later when he had great big cracks all over his lounge ceiling, and had water pouring through it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOCCERROO FOX Posted 21 July 2011 Author Share Posted 21 July 2011 Called some bird and left a pretty sexually explict message whilst drunk one night,.......only issue was that in my drunken state i called my sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxyPV Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Called some bird and left a pretty sexually explict message whilst drunk one night,.......only issue was that in my drunken state i called my sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simmo86 Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Called some bird and left a pretty sexually explict message whilst drunk one night,.......only issue was that in my drunken state i called my sister Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simmsy Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 I feel pathetic for not having any decent stories to share, done embarrassing stuff before but nothing worthy of this thread. My 18th next summer so I will more than likely have something to share if this thread is still going. The best so far has got to be Nick's though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy2Drags Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Started seeing this well fit bird whilst I was at uni. I'd only ever seen her when I was out (she worked at The Fan Club) so I was 'bar flying' it all night....free drinks flowing etc. Anyway, by 2.30 (cleaning up time) I was wan*ered but stable, so we got a taxi back to mine (first time sex on the cards....cha-ching). So, got home,rolled a joint poured a couple of large red wines & got down to business with this bird...woke up in the morning feeling hungover but pretty chipper cos we were naked...always a good sign that 'The Deed' had been done & I still had this fitty in bed (morning sex?)...anyway, a good night was had by all.....or so I assumed. Surprisingly she didn't seem too up for morning sex. I assumed she was hungover and didn't think too much about it. She seemed a little aloof so I asked her what was wrong. Without being too graphic here's how the events actually went down - Home-Joint-Wine-Business-Accidental bumming-screaming-blood spots-sleep. But oh no...it doesn't stop there. I apparently woke up (drunk) about 5am and pissed all over my bedroom, shouted at her about how much I missed my kids (I didn't have kids then) & then went back to sleep. I don't drink anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeyT Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Called some bird and left a pretty sexually explict message whilst drunk one night,.......only issue was that in my drunken state i called my sister Did she have the same name as your sister? If not, i'd be worried if i were you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxyPV Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Started seeing this well fit bird whilst I was at uni. I'd only ever seen her when I was out (she worked at The Fan Club) so I was 'bar flying' it all night....free drinks flowing etc. Anyway, by 2.30 (cleaning up time) I was wan*ered but stable, so we got a taxi back to mine (first time sex on the cards....cha-ching). So, got home,rolled a joint poured a couple of large red wines & got down to business with this bird...woke up in the morning feeling hungover but pretty chipper cos we were naked...always a good sign that 'The Deed' had been done & I still had this fitty in bed (morning sex?)...anyway, a good night was had by all.....or so I assumed. Surprisingly she didn't seem too up for morning sex. I assumed she was hungover and didn't think too much about it. She seemed a little aloof so I asked her what was wrong. Without being too graphic here's how the events actually went down - Home-Joint-Wine-Business-Accidental bumming-screaming-blood spots-sleep. But oh no...it doesn't stop there. I apparently woke up (drunk) about 5am and pissed all over my bedroom, shouted at her about how much I missed my kids (I didn't have kids then) & then went back to sleep. I don't drink anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GLC Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 was with my gf one night and we were both drunk, her 18th birthday, we went back to her house to find her mum and dad having sex on the sitting room floor, (awkward!!!), being drunk i asked her dad if he needed any help that didn't go down well with my gf and we had this massive row (she didn't think it was funny) we split up a week later, her mum was filth though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
General Smuts Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Called some bird and left a pretty sexually explict message whilst drunk one night,.......only issue was that in my drunken state i called my sister Yeah but is your sister fit? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OriginalRobboFOX Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 Shat myself on my first school field trip in the middle of the night after a hearty midnight feast. In a room of 6 sleeping lads. 007 type operation required to get the turd out of my pants/dorm and into the bathroom without suspicion. Worked a treat. The yellow stain all over my vest (I was a youngen at the time hence the vest) I put down to an orange juice spillage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOCCERROO FOX Posted 21 July 2011 Author Share Posted 21 July 2011 Did she have the same name as your sister? If not, i'd be worried if i were you. No but forgot i had called my sister earlier that day and clicked the dial button and must of pressed down or something and it flicked to her number, Shit happens i'm the king of leaving incoherrent voice mails I could hardly walk one night. Then i saw this old guy come in to the pub only person over 25 and they came and grabbed me, it was my dad. I had called him and not remembered, told him i was fooked and needed a lift as i was too pissed for a cab. He took me home only for me to throw up pass out in the kitchen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danlcfc4ever Posted 21 July 2011 Share Posted 21 July 2011 I was on holiday with the boys a couple of years back in Kos... we'd been there a few nights and kind of had our drinking routine sorted, bar 1> bar 2> bar 3> club. One night after drinking all day we decided to go out an hour or so earlier and add another bar onto the night, this particular bar had some sort of offer on...7 doubles for 5 euros or something stupid, It would be rude not to right? 7 double JD and cokes + what we had drank in the day. After continuing to drink pretty heavily in the usual bars we then decided to swap the normal club for a strip club. This would of been fine but by the time we were there i'd run out of cash.. so i slurred "no worries boys.....you get stuck in........ i'll nip back to the hotel and get more monies" So i get back to the hotel get more euros and head out again... by this point im so trollied i can't find my way back to the strip club, i thort to speed up the process i would get a jog on... so i'm wankered and litterally running around Kos looking for this strip club (you know the drunken run if you've ever done it)..... i must of been doing this for at least an hour. I evenutally find it, but my mates had left, after all that effort i wasnt going to miss out.. so went in for my 20 euros worth of lapdance... all that running about must of tired me out ... as soon as i sat down i fell asleep and had a bird dancing on me whilst i was sparko.. she stopped and got up, i awoke and said "**** this!! is that it?!" and then got chucked out. I start to wander/stagger back to the hotel and somehow manage to chat some girl up.. get off with her and convince her it was a good idea for us to visit a sunbed on the beach.... to this day i have no idea how i managed this.. as i was a right mess. Me and this girl are on the beach, about to get down to it, and she pipes up and says i can't, i'm on my period, to which i replied "It's alright love.. i'll just finger you!" which obviously i did. I must of got bored of that after a while and decided to go back to the hotel. I woke up with one of the worst hangovers ever, a ruined white T Shirt, an empty wallet, and some girls dried period blood all over my hand. MESSY NIGHT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Itsthejoeker Posted 29 July 2011 Share Posted 29 July 2011 No way near the calibre of those above. Went to the fridge to get some salad dressing out. Gave it a few vigorous shakes, to find that someone hadn't put the lid on properly Now have cesear dressing all over my face and kitchen, looks kinda weird.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeilyBoy Posted 29 July 2011 Share Posted 29 July 2011 My housemate walked into my room to find me naked on the bed, head in hands, staring in the mirror wailing something along the lines of "it's far more worse than I could possibly imagine" and other creepy sh!t, whilst another mate was stood nearby furiously pumping himself through his shorts. Said housemate then had to struggle against my resistance as he tried putting some trousers on me with my c*ck flopping around near his head. Never doing acid again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxyPV Posted 30 July 2011 Share Posted 30 July 2011 Always drop some ecstacy or MDMA before taking acid to ensure a good trip Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nick Posted 30 July 2011 Share Posted 30 July 2011 Always drop some ecstacy or MDMA before taking acid to ensure a good trip Good advice for the kids that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spencer Posted 30 July 2011 Share Posted 30 July 2011 Had quite an embarrassing thing happen to me at Sainsburys at Fosse Park the other day.. Walking through the car park I see this car rolling forward, and a kid in the passenger seat shouting 'DAD, DADDD'.. He'd let the handbrake down when his dad had nipped into the shop.. So like a hero I sprint over, and jump in this moving car to try and save the kid.. As I've jumped in the car the kids already pulled the handbrake back up, and his dads walked around the corner... So now I'm here, in a car 20 yards from where the dad had parked it, alone with a child no more than 10 years old screaming for his dad... The conversation that followed was rather awkward.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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