Captain... Posted 21 August 2013 Share Posted 21 August 2013 I also had my first ex's brother walk in on us doing the deed, he didn't actually even notice anything was happening which was rather good. Not really if he didn't notice odds are she didn't either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamby Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 I once went on the tube with the flies of my jeans open, now I only noticed this when I got home like an hour later, so whether they came undone before I got on the tube I'll never know (well it did feel cold) and then I remembered I had accidentally got an erection on the tube (was standing up), so putting them both together, I think I flashed on the tube. No one said anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavrentis Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 I once went on the tube with the flies of my jeans open, now I only noticed this when I got home like an hour later, so whether they came undone before I got on the tube I'll never know (well it did feel cold) and then I remembered I had accidentally got an erection on the tube (was standing up), so putting them both together, I think I flashed on the tube. No one said anything. I also had my first ex's brother walk in on us doing the deed, he didn't actually even notice anything was happening which was rather good. I walked in on one of my ex's mums having a shit once, why the toilet door was left open I'll never know...she didn't notice thank god but no one knows abut this. I have a feeling this thread is going to be filled by you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamby Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 My life is just one big embarrassment Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MPH Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Few years ago my gf at the time said something about her friend being pregnant. Didn't see her for a few months and so when I did see her thought it would be nice to say something although i'll be honest I couldn't really tell.. So here is me going upto her and im doing all how are you, not seen you for a long time. and all that.. Thought it would be rude not to say something about her baby so im like " well look at you! don't you look like a right little tellytubby with that belly! She just smiled and walked off. Thought it was a bit odd and so I just put it down to pregnancy hormones. Mentioned it to my gf later as I thought it was a bit odd and she was horrified... Turns out she had the baby 4 months before and this was her first night out without the baby Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chuck'em Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 My life is just one big embarrassment We have noticed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tielemans63 Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stadt Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. lol lol I love this thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HEGGSY Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. Oh my LOL LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kingfox Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. Quality Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zingari Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 shooting oneself in the eye sounds like humblebragging ( or should that be cumblebragging) to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parafox Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Quality Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. She was probably grateful it wasn't her face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxesAreBlue Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 lol lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beliall Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Thank you all for sharing, some of these posts have had me in tears! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
21st Century Fox Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Thankfully this isn't my embarrassing story but I was just reminded of one a friend told me a few years ago. My friend and his girlfriend were bunking off college during the day and using the time to make the beast with two backs while no one was in the house. He lived in a bungalow out in the country with his parents. After finishing the deed he, walked out of his room, down the hallway to the bathroom. He was bollock naked, condom still on his now withering nob, when he heard a key in the front door, he started to leg it towards the bathroom door, as he did, he felt the condom slide off and splat onto the hardwood floor. He just dived into bathroom, quickly ran the shower and waited it out for a bit. He came out casually wearing a towel, saw his mum down the hallway in the kitchen, said hello and went into his room. He then thanked his girlfriend for cleaning up the condom and spunk from the hardwood floor... and then she told him she hadn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Year Of The Fox Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Was toying with posting my most embarassing moment as it's pretty horrendous but then I thought feck it, no-one knows me personally on this forum! Anyways, back in 2002 I was in my first year at Uni and was seeing a lovely girl from Sheffield. One afternoon we go back to halls for a bit of sexy time and she suggests we get naked and watch each other having a good time (hopefully you're following me here.) Not really my cup of tea to be honest but then I see how enthusiastic she is and I decide to go with the flow. Anyway, after a shortwhile she's making noises like she's getting to the point of maximum excitement - she mentions she'd like it if we 'arrived' at this moment together and so I re-double my efforts my end. Obviously, at this point I'm observing her pretty closely - what I'm not looking at is where my todger is pointing. In due course, she arrives at her destination pretty spectacularly and shortly after I have a happy eruption too...only my love juice blasts (and it was a blast) straight into my own face. Unfortunately for me it was quite a load - it went partly in my own mouth, a little up one of my nostrils and the largest serving went straight into my eye (I'm still not sure how this physically possible tbh). Take it from people - jizzing in your own face, particularly in your eye is no joke. It doesn't sting as such but it's gloopy and makes blinking awkward. Instead of some post-coital groping the lass took me to the bathroom (thank god she was a rich kid and had an en suite room) and helped me wash my eye out. Took ages, to the point I have a new-found respect for females in pornos. Amazingly, she laughed it off and we saw each other for another few months but when we split up I was shitting it that she'd tell one of my mates but fair play to the girl, she never told. Self-bukake people - give it a miss. I want to know if she squirted or not? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zingari Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Another friend of a friend story. Lad goes to visit gf's parents for the first time and all is going well . Lad has splendid meal and needs the toilet where he does a good stiff log . Stiff log refuses to flush away after several attempts and lad is very embarrassed . Lad has brilliant idea to fish log out and throw log out of window . Downstairs lad is devastated to see girl and parents looking askance at huge log having just appeared on conservatory roof. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ozwin Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 My life is just one big embarrassment I'm glad you said it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Webbo Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Not embarrassing for me so much as my customer. I went to a house one night to give someone a price to redecorate a bedroom. About a minute before I got there she must have just had a shit in the en-suite. As soon as I walked the stench nearly choked me, it was like she'd been on the Guinness the night before. From the look on her face she could smell it and she knew I could smell it too but we carried on talking as if nothing was up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rincewind Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 Not embarrassing for me so much as my customer. I went to a house one night to give someone a price to redecorate a bedroom. About a minute before I got there she must have just had a shit in the en-suite. As soon as I walked the stench nearly choked me, it was like she'd been on the Guinness the night before. From the look on her face she could smell it and she knew I could smell it too but we carried on talking as if nothing was up. A pro to the end Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxLAD Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 One of my mates from uni pulled a girl and went back to her's. To notice there was black bags place all over the floor, he thought nothing of it and proceeded with the deed. while they were going at it and he was about to finish, the girl shoved a flannel up his ass and he shat everywhere. Embarrassed a you would be, he ran to the bathroom to clean himself up, finally built the courage to go back to her... to see her rolling around in his shit. He quickly ran away from her and never seen her since. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tielemans63 Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 I want to know if she squirted or not? I honestly have no idea. I was too busy almost drowning in my own semen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stadt Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 One of my mates from uni pulled a girl and went back to her's. To notice there was black bags place all over the floor, he thought nothing of it and proceeded with the deed. while they were going at it and he was about to finish, the girl shoved a flannel up his ass and he shat everywhere. Embarrassed a you would be, he ran to the bathroom to clean himself up, finally built the courage to go back to her... to see her rolling around in his shit. He quickly ran away from her and never seen her since. What the actual fork? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FoxLAD Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 What the actual fork? i said the same thing when i got told Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lamby Posted 22 August 2013 Share Posted 22 August 2013 My first ex decided it would be fun to do 2 of the most evilest things known to man; One time she was tossing me off and while I was in the moment decided it would be fun to point it at my face just before I blew my load, you can tell what happened. A few months later she was giving me a blowy and decided it would be fun to pretend to swallow and then snog me straight after...that was horrible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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