Our system detected that your browser is blocking advertisements on our site. Please help support FoxesTalk by disabling any kind of ad blocker while browsing this site. Thank you.
Jump to content
General Smuts

Rap Battle Voting Week 1

By General Smuts, in Entertainment Forum

Who's the winner?  

45 members have voted

  1. 1. General Smuts Vs Vacamion

  2. 2. Stez Vs Large Al

  3. 3. Nightguard Vs Father Ted

  4. 4. Unit / WTF BBQ Vs Spherical Fox

  5. 5. isaidno Vs Trav Le Bleu / Foxy PV


Recommended Posts

General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
Posted

PLEASE READ THESE BEFORE YOU VOTE. WHO'S THE WINNER ... I DECIDE. I MEAN YOU DECIDE ...

General Smuts Vs Vacamion

General Smuts

The first Ginola haired rapper rocking a boom box blaring Chesney Hawkes

Cos I'm the one and only, Vacamion's getting ram jammed by Mikey Rourke

A big fan of 'Baby', Vacamion has all the albums of Justin Bieber

I watch HD porn now cos you can see the parental shame much clearer

Behind computer screens we're all white guys skirting round the N word,

Trying not to be racist just cos you listen to Kayne and not Jedward,

So ill flop my Dwayne Johnson out to show you all that mine is bigger

So heres the shocking dirty word we all detest ...

N*ttingham.

Vacamion

Yo Smuts! Happy Christmas, lets have a rap battle

Cos your rappins like the gas coming out the back of cattle

Your grandmas in ma Chevvy, rollin round da Monsell

Tinsel in her hair and my love gunk on her Tonsils

[scratches]

Snow is fallin. All around. Children playing. Havin fun.

Got my dope. Got my bitches. Theres my homies. Wheres my gun?

Now MC Smuts is rappin, the crowd starts to boo

Sounds like Santa Claus getting jiggy with Shamu

Stez Vs Large Al

Stez

well, i've not laughed so hard

since i heard

this internet trawling nerd

frequenter of the theater of the absurd

large al

not my pal,

not a gal,

although he's got long hair.

hence my laugh

bit of a gaffe, i thought

but i shan't make him overwrought

cos i'm self taught

rhymes like this can't be bought

skills like this are very sought (after)

however, i'll end this paragraph,

before it gets frought.

so it brings us to 'proudman'

'proud' 'man'?

a quick scan

revealed his plan

he'd prolly sell his nan

for a decent quip dissing the main man,

main man your say,

morris....say (!)

but i'm all over this like a bird of prey

olé. etc.

Large Al

So I've entered into this Rap Battle,

Putting down Stez is a challenge for me to tackle.

Apparently it needs to rhyme,

But I ain't got the time,

'Caus Sluts is a willy puller

And drew me a lurker rather than a poster.

Not much I can tell from this blokes posts,

So I'll just kick back with some toast.

His profile's a bit ambiguous too

**** it, I'll just say the chap sniffs glue.

Looks like he used to be a mod,

But he certainly ain't no god.

Just a lover of Morrissey

And isn't that a horror story!

Nightguard Vs Father Ted

Nightguard

Hey Ho man come dip your bread

dis is da sad tale of Father Ted

Thought himself good wid all his women

Treated dem rough till dey were willing.

Den one one night while he was at it

his chosen woman produced a hatchet.

His beloved possession was such a size

it's been nominated for the Turner prize.

Father Ted

Nightguard, you ain't got my respect

and by the end of this I'll have you recked

finished, ended thats what you'll be Ken,

'cos your no match for me like away fans at the Old Den.

Did you really think you could diss me?

Well guess again 'cos I'll destroy you a tackle by Ben Mee.

You've applied for more jobs than Dowie and Keane.

Fack off to Tescos, I hear you got some clubcard vouchers to redeem.

Unit Vs Spherical Fox

Unit

DID NOT ENTER.

NB: This is also his main defence in that rape case ...

Replacement: WTF BBQ

Spherical fox

squarer than a box

his blogs are borin

everybody snorin

its a shame

he wont find fame

coz we all know he`s a fvckin lame...

(waff, waff, waff waff, waff, waff, waff, waaaaah)

His dads his brother

so`s his mother

i lent him cash

for his his nappy rash

he makes me vomit

he looks like gromit

his rep points are slower coming than Haleys comit...

Spherical Fox

On a forum you write nothing more than shite

You couldnt buy a hard-on from a porno site.

There nothing more you like than smelling Rainbow Brite

Cross-dressing, high heel shoes and a pair of tights.

You think your rhymes are phat, but your spits are crap

You couldnt rap your way outta of a paper bag

Your style is whack down to the knuckles you drag

You shudda stayed inside your po daddys sack

isaidno Vs Trav Le Bleu

isaidno

Trav talks the talk , he walks the walk

He's a long time member of foxestalk

He likes a beer , he's always drunken

I'm popping off lyrics like PJ & Duncan

He's into books , but I don't give a f**k

He's got a beird , It looks a bit weird

He's into surfing, he looks like a smurf in

his blue city top, as he sits in the kop

It'll soon be xmas, will it snow ?

Travs Carrol singing with his Wigston hoes

I wonder if Trav believes in Santa

It's time to put a stop to this xmas banter

Trav Le Bleu

DID NOT ENTER

NB: Rape jokes aren't funny.

Replacement: Foxy PV

isaidno, what the **** do you do,

aside from sitting in parks sniffing glue?

you pester the teens looking for a feeeeeeeeeeel

trying to tell yourself that wanking with a numb hand is for real.

You post on FT, giving it large,

it's a pity you live with ducks on a barge.

The ducks give you grief because you're so uncool,

because, they, like the rest of us, can see you're a fool

The girls all reply "isaidno"

The boys all reply "isaidno"

Your mum after seeing you wishes she'd said no

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Link to comment
Share on other sites
I am Rod Hull

I am Rod Hull

Posted
Posted

I want to take Units place if possible ?

Spherical fox

squarer than a box

his blogs are borin

everybody snorin

its a shame

he wont find fame

coz we all know he`s a fvckin lame...

(waff, waff, waff waff, waff, waff, waff, waaaaah)

His dads his brother

so`s his mother

i lent him cash

for his his nappy rash

he makes me vomit

he looks like gromit

his rep points are slower coming than Haleys comit...

WORD

BETCH

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Father Ted

Father Ted

Posted
Posted

I want to take Units place if possible ?

Spherical fox

squarer than a box

his blogs are borin

everybody snorin

its a shame

he wont find fame

coz we all know he`s a fvckin lame...

(waff, waff, waff waff, waff, waff, waff, waaaaah)

His dads his brother

so`s his mother

i lent him cash

for his his nappy rash

he makes me vomit

he looks like gromit

his rep points are slower coming than Haleys comit...

WORD

BETCH

lol

Link to comment
Share on other sites
sphericalfox

sphericalfox

Posted
Posted

I want to take Units place if possible ?

Spherical fox

squarer than a box

his blogs are borin

everybody snorin

its a shame

he wont find fame

coz we all know he`s a fvckin lame...

(waff, waff, waff waff, waff, waff, waff, waaaaah)

His dads his brother

so`s his mother

i lent him cash

for his his nappy rash

he makes me vomit

he looks like gromit

his rep points are slower coming than Haleys comit...

WORD

BETCH

A good effort with some licks in there, I'm even tempted to step out of the comp and burn you down with some verbage...but perhaps another time :whistle:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Vacamion

Vacamion

Posted
Posted

Nightguard

Hey Ho man come dip your bread

dis is da sad tale of Father Ted

Thought himself good wid all his women

Treated dem rough till dey were willing.

Den one one night while he was at it

his chosen woman produced a hatchet.

His beloved possession was such a size

it's been nominated for the Turner prize.

Please tell me I can obtain a recording of MC Nightguard rapping with his jive ass pimped up muthaphuckin lingo...

I would pay for that.

In the meantime, I voted for him...

:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I want to take Units place if possible ?

Spherical fox

squarer than a box

his blogs are borin

everybody snorin

its a shame

he wont find fame

coz we all know he`s a fvckin lame...

(waff, waff, waff waff, waff, waff, waff, waaaaah)

His dads his brother

so`s his mother

i lent him cash

for his his nappy rash

he makes me vomit

he looks like gromit

his rep points are slower coming than Haleys comit...

WORD

BETCH

I'll allow it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
FoxyPV

FoxyPV

Posted
Posted

Jack it, like i did... Take Trav`s place... :cool:

What about this?

isaidno, what the **** do you do,

aside from sitting in parks sniffing glue?

you pester the teens looking for a feeeeeeeeeeel

trying to tell yourself that wanking with a numb hand is for real.

You post on FT, giving it large,

it's a pity you live with ducks on a barge.

The ducks give you grief because you're so uncool,

because, they, like the rest of us, can see you're a fool

The girls all reply "isaidno"

The boys all reply "isaidno"

Your mum after seeing you wishes she'd said no

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Link to comment
Share on other sites
I am Rod Hull

I am Rod Hull

Posted
Posted

What about this?

isaidno, what the **** do you do,

aside from sitting in parks sniffing glue?

you pester the teens looking for a feeeeeeeeeeel

trying to tell yourself that wanking with a numb hand is for real.

You post on FT, giving it large,

it's a pity you live with ducks on a barge.

The ducks give you grief because you're so uncool,

because, they, like the rest of us, can see you're a fool

The girls all reply "isaidno"

The boys all reply "isaidno"

Your mum after seeing you wishes she'd said no

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Worth a vote on its own.. :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites
The Doctor

The Doctor

Posted
Posted

What about this?

isaidno, what the **** do you do,

aside from sitting in parks sniffing glue?

you pester the teens looking for a feeeeeeeeeeel

trying to tell yourself that wanking with a numb hand is for real.

You post on FT, giving it large,

it's a pity you live with ducks on a barge.

The ducks give you grief because you're so uncool,

because, they, like the rest of us, can see you're a fool

The girls all reply "isaidno"

The boys all reply "isaidno"

Your mum after seeing you wishes she'd said no

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Wuh wuh Wicky wicky wow

Plagiarist!

The Wuh Wuh Wicky Wicky Wow wins it on its own though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
General Smuts

General Smuts

Posted
  • Author
Posted

hang on! you can see who's voted for who. how can i cheat now? (not that i ever have)

ScouseFox , EnderbyFox , anotherofwalshieswomen , sphericalfox , lavrentis , ajthefox , Fox You Forest , LargeAl , irDeano , StanSP , isaidno , Magictv , simmo86 , BornBlue , Uncle Phil , Jackirius , acooling08 , AmericanScott , AjcW , James2007 , Asha , chuck'em , Brown Fox , RobHawk

All dead to me.

Especially the ones in bold.

IVE DONE NOTHING BUT LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKERS!

Father Ted , Vacamion , Tom17LCFC , HEGGSY , WTF BBQ , marko , 21st Century Fox , Jimbo , FoxyPV

These people I like though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
I am Rod Hull

I am Rod Hull

Posted
Posted

ScouseFox , EnderbyFox , anotherofwalshieswomen , sphericalfox , lavrentis , ajthefox , Fox You Forest , LargeAl , irDeano , StanSP , isaidno , Magictv , simmo86 , BornBlue , Uncle Phil , Jackirius , acooling08 , AmericanScott , AjcW , James2007 , Asha , chuck'em , Brown Fox , RobHawk

All dead to me.

Especially the ones in bold.

IVE DONE NOTHING BUT LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKERS!

Father Ted , Vacamion , Tom17LCFC , HEGGSY , WTF BBQ , marko , 21st Century Fox , Jimbo , FoxyPV

These people I like though.

Too be honest smuts, mine was more of a sympathy vote than anything else. :/

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...